Excerpt from A Black Diamond: A Comic Drama in Two Acts

Scene I. Sitting-room in a farmhouse.

(Enter Hulda, with arms akimbo.)

Hulda (to audience). Ef dis yer aint de bestest place I eber was in. I's glad I aint a poor little orfling any longer. I aint now kase Miss Minnie's tuk me ter brung up. (Laughs.) Hi! hi! hi! I's been stayin' in de city, but I don't like it, yer has ter be ser prim an' scrimonious. Fur right smart good time give me dis yer kentry bo'din' house. Miss Minnie, she's off mos' de time climbin' hills wid dem dudes - hi! hi! hi! - Golly aint dem fine! - an' dey don' hev no use fur me when dem oder dudes is roun'. Wish't yer could heah dem dudes talk though. A fo' year old baby 'ud do better. Dey makes me larf! I met dat Mis'r Radford in de dark las' night an' I say 'Scat!' an' - He! hi! hi! Golly didn't he run - an holler! - you'd a t'ought de day ob jedgment hed come fur sho! All de bo'ders come runnin out an he say he met de ebil one hisself, but Miss Embly - she's a heap sight better'n dem oder white trash - she tole him he must a seed his own shadder - Hi! hi! hi! - kase dey all hunted and hunted (Laughs.) an' I helped 'em too - Hope ter die ef I didn't - (Impressively.) an' we couldn't find nobody roun'! Den dar's dat doctor woman. She say dar aint no sech t'ing as aches, an' pains, an' measles, an' mumps an' all dat. She say dat peoples only 'magines 'em. I don't beliebe no sech trash as dat, kase aint I had 'em all, an' a good deal more, too, an' I guess when I has de jumpin' toof ache I don' set down an' 'magines I got it - it's dar. an' I knows its dar! - an' l'd like ter see de chile dat 'ud 'magine it wa'n't dar when it am! She's one ob dem air mod'n scientisses. I tink dey mus' be diffrunt from oder folks ter beliebe it deyself.

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