Approaching eighty years of age, James Sharksburg-O'Rourke Caldwell records the events of his Vagarious Life. About his mother who was too busy cultivating her sexual affairs to take care of James and his sister Theresa. About mentally retarded Theresa who spent all her time listening to the radio, her gaze fixed intently on the orange light of the dial. About the men who stayed in his mother's bed and whom James and Theresa called uncles. About his Jewish father who departed the family on James' first birthday. About his three marriages and many children. About his less than glorious service in the United States Navy. About the academic degrees he attained based solely on the influence of his father-in-law with the college. About his love of the poetry of Edgar A. Guest, who James claims was America's greatest poet. About his various sexual affairs with men as well as women. About the suicides of his mother and first wife, Laura. About the psychiatrist James consults with for many years, Dr. Simon, who becomes squeamish when any sexual topic comes up.