Thank you for checking out this book by Theophania Publishing. We appreciate your business and look forward to serving you soon. We have thousands of titles available, and we invite you to search for us by name, contact us via our website, or download our most recent catalogues. I'm full of sarcastic witticisms today, most of them heartfelt jargon of a bygone era - call me a romantic. Call me an anachronism. I used to think of myself as a renaissance man, but got muscled out by the guys with better clothes and more money than I have. When asked for my resume, I challenged, "I paint, I write, I bind beautiful books, I am a jeweler, and a sculptor, I have a massive collection of rare and antique books (that I read), and enjoy sharing what I have learned with others. I study and practice philosophy and magic. I enjoy great wines and can understand the subtleties in a single malt scotch. I tend to be literary in that way - always seeking the right words for the wrong circumstances. I've overcome many of my addictions, and have drowned in the sea of vice. I have been learning to conquer myself, and fear mainly that the art of subtlety may be lost amongst the masses. I enjoy the study of humanity without taking part in it. I am a god amongst mortals, and a mortal amongst gods." They rejected my application on the grounds of my immorality.