Barney Smaller and I were schoolfellows, yes, but friends, never! I loathed him because he came on to me from puberty onwards and I'm straight. It culminated when I was held up before the showers after practice in Year 12 and he and I were alone and he tried to kiss and hug me. I floored him but fortunately Coach saw it all and he was expelled. But then I was framed for fraud, convicted and enslaved for life and he bought me. I was now facing a life as a naked cage fighter...