Excerpt from Foster's Comic History of Oklahoma

It was on the 22nd day of September, in the year 1880, in a little shack out on the western prairies in that part of the world known as Seward, Nebraska, that I first saw the light of day. I was very young and inexperienced, in fact I was in a destitute and helpless condition. My parents were very poor, but of a kind and loving disposition, and they being aware of my then helplessness proceeded to clothe and feed me. The food they gave me was very thin, however, and consisted of milk, which I was forced to take in tiny sips for many months.

I often longed for a square meal of pork and beans, but no man gave unto me.

They continued to minister to my welfare for many years afterwards, and this debt I have never been able to pay. They have given up all hope of ever collecting it.

At times they despaired of my prospects for future usefulness and were tempted to end my miserable existence, but they suffered on, and allowed me to do likewise, a fact they have many times since had cause to lament.

Some folks are born rich, some have riches thrust upon them and some are born good looking. Some folks had better never been born at all. My friends say that I belong to the latter class. We will not stop to argue the question with them. "I should worry."

About the Publisher

Forgotten Books publishes hundreds of thousands of rare and classic books. Find more at www.forgottenbooks.com

This book is a reproduction of an important historical work. Forgotten Books uses state-of-the-art technology to digitally reconstruct the work, preserving the original format whilst repairing imperfections present in the aged copy. In rare cases, an imperfection in the original, such as a blemish or missing page, may be replicated in our edition. We do, however, repair the vast majority of imperfections successfully, any imperfections that remain are intentionally left to preserve the state of such historical works.