The hilariously unfortunate true stories of my drunken mayhem, the sex, girls, and trainwrecks of my life, and navigating the stupidity of the internet and real-world BDSM community. Have you ever sport-f*cked a blind girl? Or met Merlin the Magician while on acid? Found the craziest person in the freakshow? Been belligerent at terribly inappropriate times? Thought you've found the dumbest girl in the world? Wondered what happens when you get pepper sprayed in the balls? Stopped caring about anything but having fun? I have. And the stories are hilarious.