Jane is on her last lung and desperately wanting to go out with a bang, Brett is a 21st century pornographic playwright who desperately wants to write something that doesn't involve willy. Whilst Darcy is sodomising stable boys and Marianne is getting rogered rigid, Jane still can't say "fellatio" without reaching for the smelling salts. Duelling authors bitch across time as each seeks to become more then they are. It is Sense without Sensibility, Perversion without Prejudice!