Excerpt from My Neighbor's Wife: A Farce, in One Act

Mrs. Somerton, Mrs. Smith, and Mrs. Brown arc together in the chamber of the former. The ladies are discoursing about the fickleness of husbands. Mesdames B.and S.express their disbelief ir the honor of any of the genus except their own particular partners. They commiserate with Mrs. Somerton, as her husband is so often absent, and hint that these absences are prompted by no good motive. Mrs. S., however, not only quietly defends her husband, but hints to her fair friends that they had better look at home, and adds the vii hthat they may always find their husbands faithful. They scout the idea, and are taking their leave when Mrs. S.tells them that should it so happen that their husbands did not return she would be pleased to have them drop in and take supper with her, adding that she bears them no grudge for having always thrown out insinuations against Mr.S. They bid her good-bye, and retire. She smiles as she recalls the fact that she has in her pocket notes from both the ladies husbands, in which they invite themselves to call upon her that very evening, each ignorant of the others project, but both aware that Mr.S. intends to dine out. When her husband returns Mrs. S., after making him promise not to fly In a passion, shows him the notes, and tells him of her plan to punish the gay Lothai ios, with his assistance. He assents, and puts off his dinner engagement. The two dupes arrive, and are pleasantly received bMrs. Somerton, who contrives to make each of them believe that the others presence was unsought for. They glare fiercely at each other when unnoticed, smiling blandly when they meet each others look. Smith has brought an expensive supper in a basket, and Mrs. Somerton lays the cloth, and they sit down to supper. When Mrs. S.is about leaving the room to get the coffee, B.and S.try to follow her, but baffle each other, and she leaves unattended. Dinner proceeds, and the truant husbands are growing gay, when, just as they are toasting their pretty hostess, a knock is heard. They all start as Mr.S. svoice is heard calling upon his wife to admit him. The lady, apparently greatly alarmed, begs her guests to hide. They crowd into a closet as she goes off to admit her husband. He enters with her. Mr.S., who has been apprised of the whereabouts of the delinquents, says to his wife, My dear, you appear to be taking advantage of my absence patties, lobsters, jellies, wines She explains that she had invited her neighbors, Mrs. Smith and Mrs. Brown, and she proceeds to summon them. While she is away Mr.S. soliloquizes aloud, so as to be heard by the two unwilling listeners. He intimates that the supper arrangement looks a little suspicious, and that if he should ever have cause to suspect anyone tampering with his dear wifes affections he would kill him on sight. Still he admits that he is smitten with one of his neighbors wives, and that he will seize the opportunitj afforded by their supping there to declare his love. This sets both the hidden husbands quaking with jealousy. The two ladies come on with Mrs. Somerton, her husbaud receiving them with gallant and flattering expressions of his delight. They sit at table, and the hungry husbands have the felicity of hearing them dilate upon the delicious viands. Mr. and Mrs. S.contrive it so thatS. shall be left alone, alternately, witii Mrs. B.and Mrs. S., and he takes the opportunity to pour a lovers adulation in their ears. This makes the two concealed fellows almost frantic, and they lose no point with which to tease each other. Somerton coaxes a bracelet from one lady a bouquet from the other. At last the two visiting ladies say that they must return home, as their husbands might be sulky if they came back and found them absent. Mr.S. says that he will tell them a little circumstance that happened to a friend of his. He then recalls the whole situation of the flirting husbands, of the tit-for-tat fli