Excerpt from The Old Man's Youth and the Young Man's Old AgeI gave my Self up, as a bad job, long ago. By a bad job, I mean an insoluble problem. I have asked my Self to explain itself for sixty years at least - maybe more - and have never got a satisfactory answer.Personally, I am unable to explain my Self. The most I can achieve is a poor make-believe that I can get away from it at arm's length - far enough at any rate to walk round it and note its outward seeming. The result is an image in my mind of an old man who is tired, and wants to stop. Not to stop writing, mind you! Not to stop any particular thing - but to stop altogether.Because then, you see. He would be on all fours with every non existent person in the Universe. And think of the improvement in his position! No pain at all l - think what that would mean to his joints, which are arthritic. NO eyesight at all l - think what that would mean to eyes that see nothing they welcome. No memory at alll - and what a gain that would be, seeing that all that was sweet in the Past serves now only to add bitterness to the Present, and all that was bitter defies oblivion, and lives to sting in all its freshness, as though no yesterdays had come between. How much better, he thinks, to have done with it all, and be no worse off than the countless myriads that have never been born. Provided always his extinction were complete and guaranteed: no treachery on the part of Nonentity towards a tired unit in an infinite void, a Creation that has had, for him, so little purpose, a Creation whose benefits, if they exist, he grudges to no survivor.Do not suppose I have not reasoned with my Self - pointed out that this longing to cease is at least irreligious, if not illogical. Indeed, I have gone further, and assured it that its non-existence is, to itself, a thing quite inconceivable, although my higher reasoning powers have enabled me to perceive its possibility.About the PublisherForgotten Books publishes hundreds of thousands of rare and classic books. Find more at www.forgottenbooks.comThis book is a reproduction of an important historical work. Forgotten Books uses state-of-the-art technology to digitally reconstruct the work, preserving the original format whilst repairing imperfections present in the aged copy. In rare cases, an imperfection in the original, such as a blemish or missing page, may be replicated in our edition. We do, however, repair the vast majority of imperfections successfully, any imperfections that remain are intentionally left to preserve the state of such historical works.