As a polygamous Sherburne-educated ruler, a Scottish music aficionado, drools over Mimudeh, a sixteen-year old drum-major in a bagpipe school band, a prophecy given by a royal oracle haunts him. When the schoolgirl's father, an Opposition MP, moves a controversial motion, the child vanishes. Her parents consult the same oracle, which triggers a cyclone as politics, brutality and sexual perversion intersect. The diviner seems to disclose that the schoolgirl is already deflowered. The fiasco ropes in army generals and Mimudeh's heartthrob, Archer McLeod, and everyone is sucked into the eye of the cyclone. Knife-edge drama that pits absurd realities against popular ideals takes centre-stage, rudely offering Archer a lifetime opportunity. But is a move at the end a brainy manoeuvre, a romantic act or a divine solution to a complex equation? The Shirburnian Catastrophe is a contemporary play in two parts, Squaring A Circle (Book I) and Square Circle In A Triangle (Book II). This volume contains both books.