A theme for this book is the gradual process of separation between parents and toddlers, and the growth of autonomy in them all. As the child moves to puberty, adolescence, and adulthood, he has to learn how to feel confident of his autonomy, while remaining able to be intimate and dependent. When looking after our toddlers we have to demonstrate to them our capacity to tolerate this tension by letting them go. True love allows for freedom as well as intimacy. <, br />, Jenny Stoker has written with clarity, sympathy, and warmth about the multiple problems that the child faces in his toddler years, and she has addressed the parents with immense empathy. Stoker manages to convey complex concepts and arguments in a lucid and simple style that all readers will find most helpful.